Remember how blessed we all felt when that whole Jack White guacamole story blew up a few years ago? Well, prepare for your day to be made then because we’ve stumbled upon a leaked list of Bluesfest artist rider requests…
While we have no idea who each request actually belongs to, The Music team have taken a red hot guess to match the items with the Bluesfest performer.
Request: Puppies in their dressing room
Our guess: Kasey Chambers
Kasey Chambers is a national treasure and we’d like to think that the most wholesome of all the rider requests ever would belong to her.
Our guess: Mavis Staples
Staples could quite easily demand a whole lot more but we think she’s humble enough to only request a simple dehumidifier to keep her dressing room in shape and those vocal notes in top condition.
Request: Rectangular boxes of tissues
Our guess: Lukas Nelson & Promise Of The Real
Maybe Lukas Nelson needs some tissues after watching A Star Is Born again?
Request: Bunches of seven locally grown white roses
Our guess: Julia Stone
Look, this one just fits the incredibly peaceful vision we have of Julia Stone’s dressing room, which to be perfectly honest also includes someone saying “Namaste” as you walk in.
Request: Local newspapers to read
Our guess: Tash Sultana
After spending so much time out of the country touring the past few years, we reckon Sultana might be keen to catch up on what’s been going on at home with a newspaper pre or post-show.
Request: Stamped postcards from Byron Bay
Our guess: Snarky Puppy
Snarky Puppy spend a lot of time touring the globe and there’s a whole lot of them so we reckon they’d want a stack of postcards to keep their families back home up to date with what’s going on.
Request: Recipe specific guacamole
Our guess: The Saboteurs
LOL, who else?…
Request: 288 cans of Guinness
Our guess: Flogging Molly
Irish-American Celtic punk band from Boston with seven members, stacks up.
Request: Copies of The New York Times
Our guess: Hozier
Maybe Hozier wants to see if his recent subway station NYC performance is still making headlines?
Request: Locally sourced sea salt
Our guess: Jack Johnson
Loves surfing, makes sense he’d want to be surrounded by it at all times.
Request: Two x 20kg dumbbells for each member of the band in the dressing room
Our guess: Iggy Pop
We reckon that Pop’s lust for life has turned into a lust for sculpting those guns.
Request: A private yoga studio
Our guess: Gary Clark Jr
Gary Clark Jr’s just kinda got that vibe about him, and he’s married to Aussie supermodel Nicole Trunfio so we wouldn’t be surprised if they had some couples yoga retreat happening backstage.
Request: A silent room with ambient lighting at the festival
Our guess: Norah Jones
Surely Jones needs a quiet few minutes pre-set to sit in silence before coming out and knocking everyone’s socks off.
Request: One bottle of spirit per band member
Our guess: …
Our legal team have suggested we don’t point fingers on this one.
Request: High ceilings for one very tall artist
Our guess: Ben Harper
Harper comes in at 1.9m so we don’t think this one is all that unreasonable.
Request: Cuddles from koalas
Our guess: The California Honeydrops
Surely they’d have to hashtag it #honeydropbears, right?
Request: Their own private bathroom
Our guess: Little Steven & The Disciples Of Soul
Look, if we’d toured with the Boss we’d have high standards too.
Request: A dozen silk-esque toilet rolls
Our guess: See above
Request: A private outdoor BBQ and garden outside their dressing room
Our guess: Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats
While they’re not quite from Texas, we still reckon these Midwesterners could put on a pretty mean US style BBQ.
Request: A brand new shower head for each day of their stay in Australia
Our guess: Is as good as yours?
We’ve saved the best for last because we have no fuggin’ idea who this could be. Check out the Bluesfest line-up here and leave us a comment with your guess.
The Bluesfest 30th anniversary celebrations take place this Easter long weekend in Byron Bay, New South Wales. Head to theGuide for all the info on dates and tickets.